


nepenthe

by astroant



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, During when killua and gon were taken by the phantom troupe, Follows sort of canon storyline, Grief/Mourning, Kidnapping, M/M, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, hisoka evil?, illumi and hisoka are implied to be dating, please dont judge it too hard, please dont judge tagging too hard, this doesnt focus on their relationship too closely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28496211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astroant/pseuds/astroant
Summary: Nepenthe(n.) something that can make you forget grief or suffering.After Killua's death, Illumi is full of questions. Hisoka just may have those answers, but not in the way that was quite expected.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	nepenthe

**Author's Note:**

> hi! please don't judge this too hard. ao3 publishing is very confusing to me and this is my first hunter fic! i don't really know if anyone will ever read this, but if you do, i hope you like it!
> 
> i only have a general idea of how this story is going but i'm making most of it as i go. i'm doin my best alright :,O

_Killua’s vision blurred a crimson red, a blend of voices murmuring around him. Foggy figures circled him while a sharp edge plunged further inside of him. “ILLUMI!” he screamed with such force that his throat was engulfed with flames. “HELP! ILLU-“ ___

__“-mi? Illumi?” Hisoka gently pushed his sleeping body. “It’s almost three and I’m getting bored. Play with me, Illu,” he mumbled, followed with a sigh. Illumi had spent the last week sleeping away his grief after Killua’s funeral back at Kukuroo Mountain. He had barely spoken a word since and showed no signs of becoming his old self again anytime soon._ _

__“I made breakfast and coffee for you,” Hisoka mentioned, pushing him again. “You’re such a bore when you’re sad.” Illumi finally showed a sign of life and pulled the blanket over his head._ _

__“No.”_ _

__“No? I didn’t ask a question, Illu.” Hisoka sighed and stood up, pulling Illumi’s arm until he was forced into a sitting position. Sweat rolled down his forehead and he was clearly disheveled. His clothes were damp and clung to his body, his ribs making grooves in the fabric. Hisoka frowned. “You need to eat something.”_ _

__Illumi glared at him, his eyes emptier and darker than usual. Not a glimmer of life remained. “You are not my father.” The ends of his hair seemed to be sticking up, but his face was void of emotion._ _

__“Oh, Illu, I care. It pains me to see you like this.” It was partially true. When Illumi was this down, Hisoka had nothing to gain. They used to train in the forest behind Hisoka’s house- fighting until sunrise at times- but now he had been watching Illumi’s helpless body make an indent in the mattress. It was exhausting to watch. “Just come eat with me.”_ _

__Illumi pushed himself out of bed with no words and walked across the chilled tiles and into the living room where his feet could rest on plush carpet. Hisoka followed, a slight, triumphant, smirk on his face. “Coffee is in the pot, and there’s-”_ _

__“I’m not hungry,” Illumi interrupted while sliding on some slippers next to the couch before walking into the kitchen. He poured himself a mug of black coffee, ignoring the steam and heat as he brought it to his lips carelessly. A bit spilled onto his bare chest, traveling down a scar that started at his collarbone and ended mid stomach. Many similar wounds decorated his body like tattoos._ _

__Illumi set the mug on the marble counter and wiped the coffee off his mouth with the back of his hand, then his stomach. “Why are you staring.”_ _

__Hisoka blinked, not even realizing he was doing so. “I just want you to eat. You’re all skin and bones.” He walked behind Illumi, setting his hand on his shoulder. He felt the others body tense up, but he didn’t push away. “Just eat something?”_ _

__Illumi laughed, but didn’t smile. He turned to face Hisoka, glaring up at him. “You don’t actually care. You just want to fight, I assume. Just go without me.”_ _

__“But Illu, I want to do these things with you.” Hisoka grinned. “We can fight the Phantom Troupe. I’ll handle Chrollo and you can have Feitan all to yourself-”_ _

__Illumi’s hair started rising as if a gust of wind had come into the room. The air became thick with tension. “Don’t talk about them. Him.” Feitan had been the one who had hurt Killua the most. He tortured the boy, driving his sword into his side until his screams were muffled with blood._ _

__Hisoka froze for a second in shock, then gave him a quick nod. “Very well. I still will be having my fight with Chrollo, whether you attend or not. I figured you’d like to come.”_ _

__“How are you sure of where their hideout is?” Illumi asked, though it seemed like more of a statement. Everyone knew how secretive the Phantom Troupe was. The likelihood of Hisoka finding their genuine base rather than a copy Kortopi had fabricated was little to none._ _

__Hisoka cleared his throat. “Let’s simply say that since Uvogin had gone missing, Chrollo asked me for help. I know the area of where they are, we just have to look.” An embellished lie never hurt. A simple twist of the truth. Chrollo had contacted Hisoka after Uvogin had been taken by the Chain User. Well, he had contacted him a bit before. Only during Uvogins disappearance did the Head of the spider ask for assistance from the magician. Any presented chance to get closer to fighting Chrollo, Hisoka would take._ _

__“So you never actually went?” Illumi pressed. Something twisted in the air, making the ravenette suspicious. The way Hisoka’s eyebrows furrowed at questions sat uneasily with Illumi. What did he know?_ _

__“No, Illu. I didn’t go.” Hisoka stated firmly, his lips pressed into a line. Changing his tone and attitude, he uttered a calming question. “Why are you interrogating me, Love?” He gave a smirk and stared alluring daggers into Illumi’s eyes._ _

__Illumi stared for just a moment, investigating the features of Hisoka’s face. His golden eyes were soft, resting upon a reassuring smile. “Take me.”_ _

__Tension once again filled the air._ _

__“I want to go.” He added after getting no reply from Hisoka. Plans swarmed his mind, and Hisoka could tell. His knuckles clenched until they were white, his fingernails carving crescent shapes into his palm. “Take me,” he repeated, blood now pooling under his fingernails._ _

__Hisoka gently took Illumi’s hands, straightening them out. “I will, Illu.” His eyes dropped down to Illumi’s hands, watching a warm blood seep from the wounds. “Oh Lu,” he hummed, lifting Illumi’s hand to his mouth and resting a small kiss against his palm. Blood gathered between the cracks on his lips while Illumi pet the back of Hisoka’s head with his other hand. As he pulled away, he swiped his tongue across his lips, giving a slight smile at the copper taste filling his mouth. “Eat and shower, and I’ll take you tomorrow.”_ _

__“Tonight,” Illumi quickly corrected. “I’m tired of waiting. It’s me or my family. I know they’re planning to as well. I want my face to be the last thing Feitan sees as I watch the life drain from his worthless body.” His words were laced with venom and disgust._ _

__Pressing his palms against the marble island, Hisoka nodded. “Okay, Darling. Your breakfast is in the microwave. I’ll be in the shower- please eat.” He pushed himself off of the island and stretched, heading to the bathroom._ _

__Illumi watched him as he left. His confident walk lingered within the room as if he was still there. His aura was strong and present to the point where Illumi wanted to gag. Is this on purpose? he wondered. Dismissing the thought momentarily, he brought himself back to their bedroom, simply forgetting about his coffee. Something was wrong- something that not even Hisoka could hide._ _

__Dark eyes surveyed the room, analyzing anything that may have been slightly askew or out of place. He kicked clothes laying messily on the floor, scavenged the closet, and eventually lay his eyes upon Hisoka’s phone. 7 new messages. Each were hidden, only disclosed as ‘New Message’. Illumi tsked in frustration, swiping upwards in an attempt to unlock the phone. However, he couldn’t even begin to guess a 6 digit code that could mean something to Hisoka. He shared very little information about himself, Illumi wasn’t even sure of his birthday. Hisoka very well may have not even been his name, but Illumi had trust in the magician. Until now._ _

__As the shower stopped running, Illumi returned the phone to its previous position, walking back into the kitchen to poke at the eggs in the microwave. He’d force at least a few forkfuls down to satisfy Hisoka enough to allow him to occupy on the trip. The taste lingered on his taste buds in a way he wished they wouldn’t. He practically burned them away with more coffee before putting the mug in the sink, not bothering to finish it._ _

__“Did you eat?” Hisoka’s voice filled the empty air. Illumi glared at him, giving him a simple nod that would suffice. He glanced at his plate which was now missing two pieces of toasts and a sizable portion of eggs. This gathered a smile from Hisoka as he walked towards Illumi, pressing a kiss to his forehead. His hair was wet and framed his face, pressing against Illumi’s cheeks._ _

__“Good.” Hisoka ruffled the top of Illumi’s hair, gathering a displeased reaction. He shook Hisoka off and nodded once again._ _

__Illumi ran his fingers through Hisoka’s hair, moving the locks away from obstructing his face. “Get ready,” is all he said as he walked away, going to take his own shower. The hot water running down his skin and the thick steam floating around him usually cleared his mind. The fresh scent of vanilla, the suds of soap pooling around his feet-- everything settled with the peaceful aura._ _

__Yet his mind was full and spinning webs of endless possibilities._ _

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading <3 be safe, wear a mask, stay hydrated, and take your meds!


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